The curtained sleep was tormented by him.The solace that he found in his sleep was turned into a gruelling epitome. He was being epitomized. Ignorance dominated his rationale. He was walking down a thin fine line. It was light on one side. It was even brighter light on the other. He chose the latter. It is then that he heard a voice say "See you on the other side.The dark side."
And you thought the pendulum wouldnt stop!it does!thats why im gonna kill you!
The cemetery gates are silhouttes!And you thought the gallows were scary!Do you think that your shadow betrays your fear?
You shall carry the cross and bleed out your crimes!your pain shall be my elixir,your grief shall be my solitude,your poignance shall invigorate and your retrospection shall be my catharsis. Destiny all ends in that six feet! The bells toll!
Rest in peace you fucked up soul!Thou hath bled for thy sins!death hath diminished thy existence and hath purged thy cursed soul!
You are Me.I feast on your memories and your fears.Are you cold?I am the cold.I wield the Scythe.Blood never tasted like wine,until then!Your Epitaph shall be,My destiny! Thy mind is a poisoned chalice and I am the poison. You made me. Thy fate shall rest in thy hands and thou shall be a puppet stringed by thyself. I am thee. The strings are ephemeral. Thy choice shall be Thine. Thou shall purge me from thy within. The choice is thine. I am the choice. Take a closer look. Sleep is just ephemeral. The nefarity in your eyes fail to disguise you. Water and wine become but the same. Divine intervention and prayer shall not even give thee momentary bliss for thy hath sinned. Death is ephemeral. You sleep forever. I triumph. I fail. I succeed and fail juxtapoxically. It turns cold. I am the cold. They are fickle minded and prone to me. I seduce you and thy shall lust for me. The knowledge that thy lust shall betray is known. Still thy lust. I am the lust. Another soul walks the thin fine line. Another piece off the big jigsaw puzzle of life. He was no different. They are all the same. They make me and invigorate me. I kill them. I am ...
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Pointless Stuff.
The world is plagued by pointlessness.It dominates the thoughts and actions of people irrescpective of their age,gender,religious and spiritual views,gender,geographical positioning,gender,the soap they watch,gender,their professional inclinations,gender,what weed they smoke,gender n weed,the kind of music they listen to,gender weed n music. Its all about the choices we make,and clearly our thoughts are influenced by the what there was and what there will be. Its all about will bes n was theres. The point is,when gender is gender we had what the world was;a world that was infested by gender discrimination and when gender becomes sex it becomes what the world is now. One big bed. U live to for it? or do it to live?
pointless.
Spiritual marketing and propogation. When they have nowhere to run to,they run to god or god like alternatives and immerse themselves in spiritual songs which is actually the sounds aliens make when they pee. They pee in karoke and surround sound dolby systems which are pee proof. They cry out all their sins aloud thinking that they shall be forgiven n redemption shall be assured. They cry out their sins. They confess. Then they smile,ignorant of the fact tht their room is wired to the FBI. They all get arrested and are fed to the crocodiles. The few who survive then take the holy water from god like man wearing brown clothes and bling and fake Dolce shades. They drink it and get hallucinations. They think that they are reflecting on their past. Have u heard of Marijuana water?. Surely they have not. The even fewer who survive are given books to read which is titled "Go back to Nature" and "The herbal in U". They are taught to embrace nature. They embrace nature. They become one with nature. They enjoy the spiritual transcending and the divine harmony in the pristine forests. They smoke nature. It wasnt wierd. It was Weed.
pointless.
Recession.Bankruptcy and brown wheat bread which tastes like clay are the highlights of this period. But recession did not happen due to any of the economical social and political reasons mentioned by all the top news agencies across the globe. The actual reason can be traced to a small village in Bosnia called Krefzinovia where the krefzinovians live. The village is famous for its scenic landscape and its rolling hills. Krefzinova was the krefzinova of the world. People from all over the world would flock here to view this marvel. People wanted to know why Krefzinova was the Krefzinova of the world. The village chieftain of Krefzinova was fuckinsnakerippedmy dick krefzinova. He was a son of the land. They found him in a ditch and he had to be taken out and instead of his umbilical cord they had to cut off a snake which was biting his privates. But sadly with the snake came his privates. Hence he could not be called the son of the land. Pointless. People stocked from all over the Globe to visit the village and stare in wonder at its supermarkets and public toilets and buses. They knew that these buses could be found nowhere else on this globe. They clicked pictures by the thousands. They were taken over by the beauty of the electric pole which was not painted. The old grandma down the road who was reading da vinci code was thought to be the direct descendent of Mother Marys grand grand grand grand grand grand niece and was worshipped with Flowers,beer and chicken stew. When she died she was buried next to picture of her grand grand grand grand grand grand grand aunts clock and a statue of iron maiden. She died with a bang(d). The people were attracted to the museums which displayed rare artifacts like the first toilet used by fuckinsnakerippedmydick and his great blind aunts diary where she scribbled. People were swept of their feet to see a skeleton of the Common house cat of Krefzinova. There it was called pteredactyl. They gave all their wealth,their assets and their virginty to the Krefzinova. They became broke fucked and stupid citizens. They turned out to be.
poinless.
to be continued.
pointless.
Spiritual marketing and propogation. When they have nowhere to run to,they run to god or god like alternatives and immerse themselves in spiritual songs which is actually the sounds aliens make when they pee. They pee in karoke and surround sound dolby systems which are pee proof. They cry out all their sins aloud thinking that they shall be forgiven n redemption shall be assured. They cry out their sins. They confess. Then they smile,ignorant of the fact tht their room is wired to the FBI. They all get arrested and are fed to the crocodiles. The few who survive then take the holy water from god like man wearing brown clothes and bling and fake Dolce shades. They drink it and get hallucinations. They think that they are reflecting on their past. Have u heard of Marijuana water?. Surely they have not. The even fewer who survive are given books to read which is titled "Go back to Nature" and "The herbal in U". They are taught to embrace nature. They embrace nature. They become one with nature. They enjoy the spiritual transcending and the divine harmony in the pristine forests. They smoke nature. It wasnt wierd. It was Weed.
pointless.
Recession.Bankruptcy and brown wheat bread which tastes like clay are the highlights of this period. But recession did not happen due to any of the economical social and political reasons mentioned by all the top news agencies across the globe. The actual reason can be traced to a small village in Bosnia called Krefzinovia where the krefzinovians live. The village is famous for its scenic landscape and its rolling hills. Krefzinova was the krefzinova of the world. People from all over the world would flock here to view this marvel. People wanted to know why Krefzinova was the Krefzinova of the world. The village chieftain of Krefzinova was fuckinsnakerippedmy dick krefzinova. He was a son of the land. They found him in a ditch and he had to be taken out and instead of his umbilical cord they had to cut off a snake which was biting his privates. But sadly with the snake came his privates. Hence he could not be called the son of the land. Pointless. People stocked from all over the Globe to visit the village and stare in wonder at its supermarkets and public toilets and buses. They knew that these buses could be found nowhere else on this globe. They clicked pictures by the thousands. They were taken over by the beauty of the electric pole which was not painted. The old grandma down the road who was reading da vinci code was thought to be the direct descendent of Mother Marys grand grand grand grand grand grand niece and was worshipped with Flowers,beer and chicken stew. When she died she was buried next to picture of her grand grand grand grand grand grand grand aunts clock and a statue of iron maiden. She died with a bang(d). The people were attracted to the museums which displayed rare artifacts like the first toilet used by fuckinsnakerippedmydick and his great blind aunts diary where she scribbled. People were swept of their feet to see a skeleton of the Common house cat of Krefzinova. There it was called pteredactyl. They gave all their wealth,their assets and their virginty to the Krefzinova. They became broke fucked and stupid citizens. They turned out to be.
poinless.
to be continued.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Caviar Risotto, Russian Vodka and women.
The evening air was invigorating. This was my favourite time of the day where memories turn into bubble gum and I chew, gnaw and finally turn it into an inexplicable mass. A basketful of memories, some Russian Vodka, my brown arm chair and the cool evening breeze of surrey. Life could get no better. I dragged my armchair to the meadow and placed it under the grand yew tree. Yews were supposed to bringers of bad luck, but for me it was shade. I glanced at the rolling eastern hills. The sun was just peeping through the cleavage. I started to ruminate.
Graduation day. This was one of the landmarks in my life. All those caps flying, those kisses exchanged, wedgies given; but there was a more important reason amidst all these superficial social customary exchange of pseudo emotions. It gave me an identity. I was George Zelinsky, graduate from the Lakeview high school, Miami. I found graduation day a convenient enough reason to turn myself into all fours that night. I knew I had been lying to myself, convincing myself that I am right. I was trying very hard to avoid the pricks of my conscience. A dozen mugs of beer, some cocktails and a FEW glasses of vodka. Fuck my conscience. I dragged myself out of the pub. I remembered vaguely.“Get your brown ass outa my way. Who do u think you are you sorry sona..” it was because the oak tree there did not move for me.
I somehow managed to reach home. I crawled to my bedroom to find someone else sleeping there. Ballsuckers. I removed the quilt and kicked them out of the bed. I sank into my bed. Someone had changed my covers. Someone had changed the pillows. They were soffffffftttt. Someone had repainted the room. Someone had put a new French window near my dresser. The sandman came and dropped a ton of sand in my eyes. That was enough to knock me out for more than 10 hours.
The next day I was charged with battery, trespassing and breaking the coccyx bone of Mrs. Marple. Vodka and graduation days don’t go together. This was the first sensible thought I had in many hours.
It was either my charming smile, or the way I could play with peoples emotions or the cologne I used. The Marples withdrew their complaint. They even treated me to dinner at their place. It was turkey and caviar risotto. And a bottle of Vodka. It was culinary excellence and verbal prowess. I was good with words. That was why I ended up coaching their daughter Stacey.
I come from the reserved minority of the population who retrospect on the trifles of life. And I believe that the trifles can take u a very long way. Let the trifles be a small text book, to some caviar to a smelly sock.
And trifles did govern a proper fraction of the time I spent on earth. For example, I ended up marrying Stacey and was a math professor for more than twenty years. Trifles. I would get a kick in my privates if Stacey heard that.
The sun had gone down, but there was light; oozing from somewhere. Maybe it was The aurora borealis. The hills now looked like Pamela Anderson lying down. God was an Artist, and this was a masterpiece.
The vodka got over. Three small glasses of vodka and I was turned on. The breeze kissed my forehead. My life was eventfully eventless.
I still remember the time when Stacey walked in. I was working in the human potential tapping organization. I was no particle Physicist. I was unemployed. I was unemployed till the ripe age of 34. I tried my hand, feet and teeth in everything. I worked as a bartender, a member of the local church choir, regional pickle taster, fire truck driver, pizza”boy” and even the dude who dresses like the dumb rabbit at the burger joint. But nothing worked out. I was not enjoying the volatility and the partial satisfaction that these jobs offered me. I was fired from the burger joint because I got drunk and shoved a hot dog up a hippie’s ass. The doctors said that he could excrete no more.
Frustration and guilt were getting the better of the optimism and the pragmatism that I had. It was invading the minimal intelligence and the reasoning god had mistakenly gifted me with.
That was when Stacey came in. She was crestfallen to see me in that rundown condition. It was perhaps my unshaven face where she saw helplessness, or my eyes where saw the flame still burning but choking or my socks because they smelled like dead sardines. She told me to get dressed and she took me out for dinner. It was the most famous night club in Miami. The sphinx. I don’t remember how we articulated that day, but she talked to me for more than an hour. We had caviar risotto and Russian vodka. She knew I would die for these. Culinary excellence again. Any caviar dish was culinary excellence. Be it raw caviar and vodka. Then she gave me a surprise. A lap dance by the most hottest exotic dancer there. I guess she knew my weaknesses. I enjoyed that night. I still remember the question she asked me
“Where do you think your future is headed darling?”
“The sewer honey”
I still have the scars. But I cherish it!
The following day I took the daily times and stated glancing through the vacancies again. Colossal waste of time and energy and patience. I saw this vacancy for a math teacher at the Yale. I guess they don’t need drunken caviarities for a math professor there. But Stacey thought otherwise. She asked me to get dressed and go. As I took out the car I saw the anticipation and the apprehension in her eyes. That was more than a bottle of vodka for me.
I went, I Talked and was appointed. I knew that the bed would creek tonight. Good luck BED!
Twenty three long years amidst complex calculus, imaginary numbers, more of caviar risotto, Russian vodka, dinners with the guys and Stacey , a brush with the law here and there, drunken brawls there and here, a couple of lap dances, holidays to Honolulu and Sumatra, ruminating from the huge platter of memories and of course STACEY ZELINSKY.
The bottle of vodka was over, but I was not drunk. Stacey had gone to chatter with the
Neighbours near the wayside stream. Surrey. It was so different from Miami. I missed Miami. Yet Surrey was my home. I got up from the armchair as the cool breeze gave me a tickle. This was the life. As I turned to get in an Audi screeched to a halt near my gate. A very beautiful lady got out from the car. She gave the customary goodbyes and walked in. I walked right up to her and kissed her.
“Honey, u smell of vodka”
“It’s the breeze here. It’s coming from the north this season. The people there are literally swimming in vodka”
“Is it the northern Derbyshire county?”
“How did you know that?”
“Yesterday it was southern Derbyshire County. Naturally today will be northern. Come inside. Its getting cold outside. And we need some talking to do. YOU…YOU..”
“You making risotto today?. I can open another bottle of vodka”
“Asshole”
She banged the door shut.
That was STACEY Zelinsky.
This Is what Caviar, Vodka and women can do to a man’s life!
Graduation day. This was one of the landmarks in my life. All those caps flying, those kisses exchanged, wedgies given; but there was a more important reason amidst all these superficial social customary exchange of pseudo emotions. It gave me an identity. I was George Zelinsky, graduate from the Lakeview high school, Miami. I found graduation day a convenient enough reason to turn myself into all fours that night. I knew I had been lying to myself, convincing myself that I am right. I was trying very hard to avoid the pricks of my conscience. A dozen mugs of beer, some cocktails and a FEW glasses of vodka. Fuck my conscience. I dragged myself out of the pub. I remembered vaguely.“Get your brown ass outa my way. Who do u think you are you sorry sona..” it was because the oak tree there did not move for me.
I somehow managed to reach home. I crawled to my bedroom to find someone else sleeping there. Ballsuckers. I removed the quilt and kicked them out of the bed. I sank into my bed. Someone had changed my covers. Someone had changed the pillows. They were soffffffftttt. Someone had repainted the room. Someone had put a new French window near my dresser. The sandman came and dropped a ton of sand in my eyes. That was enough to knock me out for more than 10 hours.
The next day I was charged with battery, trespassing and breaking the coccyx bone of Mrs. Marple. Vodka and graduation days don’t go together. This was the first sensible thought I had in many hours.
It was either my charming smile, or the way I could play with peoples emotions or the cologne I used. The Marples withdrew their complaint. They even treated me to dinner at their place. It was turkey and caviar risotto. And a bottle of Vodka. It was culinary excellence and verbal prowess. I was good with words. That was why I ended up coaching their daughter Stacey.
I come from the reserved minority of the population who retrospect on the trifles of life. And I believe that the trifles can take u a very long way. Let the trifles be a small text book, to some caviar to a smelly sock.
And trifles did govern a proper fraction of the time I spent on earth. For example, I ended up marrying Stacey and was a math professor for more than twenty years. Trifles. I would get a kick in my privates if Stacey heard that.
The sun had gone down, but there was light; oozing from somewhere. Maybe it was The aurora borealis. The hills now looked like Pamela Anderson lying down. God was an Artist, and this was a masterpiece.
The vodka got over. Three small glasses of vodka and I was turned on. The breeze kissed my forehead. My life was eventfully eventless.
I still remember the time when Stacey walked in. I was working in the human potential tapping organization. I was no particle Physicist. I was unemployed. I was unemployed till the ripe age of 34. I tried my hand, feet and teeth in everything. I worked as a bartender, a member of the local church choir, regional pickle taster, fire truck driver, pizza”boy” and even the dude who dresses like the dumb rabbit at the burger joint. But nothing worked out. I was not enjoying the volatility and the partial satisfaction that these jobs offered me. I was fired from the burger joint because I got drunk and shoved a hot dog up a hippie’s ass. The doctors said that he could excrete no more.
Frustration and guilt were getting the better of the optimism and the pragmatism that I had. It was invading the minimal intelligence and the reasoning god had mistakenly gifted me with.
That was when Stacey came in. She was crestfallen to see me in that rundown condition. It was perhaps my unshaven face where she saw helplessness, or my eyes where saw the flame still burning but choking or my socks because they smelled like dead sardines. She told me to get dressed and she took me out for dinner. It was the most famous night club in Miami. The sphinx. I don’t remember how we articulated that day, but she talked to me for more than an hour. We had caviar risotto and Russian vodka. She knew I would die for these. Culinary excellence again. Any caviar dish was culinary excellence. Be it raw caviar and vodka. Then she gave me a surprise. A lap dance by the most hottest exotic dancer there. I guess she knew my weaknesses. I enjoyed that night. I still remember the question she asked me
“Where do you think your future is headed darling?”
“The sewer honey”
I still have the scars. But I cherish it!
The following day I took the daily times and stated glancing through the vacancies again. Colossal waste of time and energy and patience. I saw this vacancy for a math teacher at the Yale. I guess they don’t need drunken caviarities for a math professor there. But Stacey thought otherwise. She asked me to get dressed and go. As I took out the car I saw the anticipation and the apprehension in her eyes. That was more than a bottle of vodka for me.
I went, I Talked and was appointed. I knew that the bed would creek tonight. Good luck BED!
Twenty three long years amidst complex calculus, imaginary numbers, more of caviar risotto, Russian vodka, dinners with the guys and Stacey , a brush with the law here and there, drunken brawls there and here, a couple of lap dances, holidays to Honolulu and Sumatra, ruminating from the huge platter of memories and of course STACEY ZELINSKY.
The bottle of vodka was over, but I was not drunk. Stacey had gone to chatter with the
Neighbours near the wayside stream. Surrey. It was so different from Miami. I missed Miami. Yet Surrey was my home. I got up from the armchair as the cool breeze gave me a tickle. This was the life. As I turned to get in an Audi screeched to a halt near my gate. A very beautiful lady got out from the car. She gave the customary goodbyes and walked in. I walked right up to her and kissed her.
“Honey, u smell of vodka”
“It’s the breeze here. It’s coming from the north this season. The people there are literally swimming in vodka”
“Is it the northern Derbyshire county?”
“How did you know that?”
“Yesterday it was southern Derbyshire County. Naturally today will be northern. Come inside. Its getting cold outside. And we need some talking to do. YOU…YOU..”
“You making risotto today?. I can open another bottle of vodka”
“Asshole”
She banged the door shut.
That was STACEY Zelinsky.
This Is what Caviar, Vodka and women can do to a man’s life!
Thursday, April 10, 2008
The Divine Pilgrimage
The white linen covered his body,
As he made his way to the altar
His eyes gleaming the flame of destiny
Eyes lacking the senility of dreams
Eyes reflecting the purpose of life…
He made his way up the stone stairs.
Stairs, which bore the signatures
Of varying emotions, selfish intentions
Unconditional love, unfulfilled dreams
The dried sandalwood paste glittered in the light.
The fortuneteller with her broken lens
And her ringed parakeet predicted
Predictions…mere negotiations of souls
Wishing to satiate her soul and her hunger
Life was so subtle and illusory..
There were girls selling jasmines n lilies
Orange casurnias and yellow aranis.
There were old men who told tales
Of the mountains, of Sanyasa, of God,
Of the eternal truth, of the foolish dream
He made his way to the sacred pedestal
It was crowded, but strange as it was
The crowd carved out a path for him
Just like the hands of Bhairava of Anga
Carved out the nonchalant Rambha.
But three adamant people stood near him.
Their eyes closed, their hands tightly clasped
But it did not matter, nothing did now,
He was lost in another world, one of
Prayer, dreams, questions, answers and remorse.
The door opened and the priest descended,
But he was still living in that illusory land.
The three men stirred and extended their hands
And drank the holy water, the elixir of the gods
Water dripped down from their pale cheeks
They then started the long and the perpetual journey
They circled the pedestal with drowsy steps,
Hopes overflowing, soul offered, selfish dreams.
The hope of awakening, reawakening, the dream
Of another chance, another love, another receptacle…
They then gently caress the karpoora and place
Their hands on their temple, the fruit of their prayers,
Questions reduced to the volatility of smoke as it
Gently feathers and noodles into the serene temple air.
The feeling, the thoughts, clouded by the answers…it was time…
The crowd slowly dissolved into monotonous humming
And futile intuitions and the sound of slapping sandals..
A few remain, still lost in thought, answering the questions.
The sound of the bells and mantras resonated and reverberated
The karpoora still flamed, as the smoke dissolved, so did a lot.
The temple was empty, except for the flames from the lamps
The karpoora stopped burning, infinity swallowing the answers
In the corner of the altar, a rat carried a small piece of charred linen
The wind gently caressed the flames in the lamps; flickering feebly
In the night air, another flame gone with the eternal breath!
Saturday, March 1, 2008
1+0=1 or o
the clock ticks..
tick tock!
tick tock!
tick tock!
tick tock!
tick tock!
tick tock!
tick tock!
tick tock!
tick tock!
tick tock!
tick tock!
still,dont the leaves rustle?
dont the pigs jerk off?
dont humans drown themsleves in agony when they fell fucked,resolving to alchcol, viagra, or rat poison!
dont the gods feel mortal?
dosent the phone ring?
dosent the odd stripper drown herself in semen and wake up in a barn next to a pregnant horse!
dosent the odd person rob a bank n then escape and ask for somefood and clothing at the sheriffs house!
dosent the odd teacher teach a kid that one plus one is gay and not two,and one plus zero is one more,biologically!!
dosent the odd grizzly escape from the zoo and jump into the river in excitement that its back,but drown and die!
dosent the odd senator deliver his speech in front of the campaign for restricted pregnancy and once child per family campaign and find his zip open and his john thomas playing the sax?
dosent the odd pilgrim who has travelled for years in search of the eternal truth actually find out that it is hidden in a piece if lasagne?
dosent the odd hotelier wake up and find out that he actually set fire to his hotel??
dont see the point dont you?
but the clock still ticks!
me
talks like a person who smokes weed
extrovert
perverted
maverick
perpetually fucked up
psychopath
morally retarded
swears a lot
sarcastic to the core
emotions vary like the impulses from the scrotum of a molerat to its brain!
.
tick tock!
tick tock!
tick tock!
tick tock!
tick tock!
tick tock!
tick tock!
tick tock!
tick tock!
tick tock!
tick tock!
still,dont the leaves rustle?
dont the pigs jerk off?
dont humans drown themsleves in agony when they fell fucked,resolving to alchcol, viagra, or rat poison!
dont the gods feel mortal?
dosent the phone ring?
dosent the odd stripper drown herself in semen and wake up in a barn next to a pregnant horse!
dosent the odd person rob a bank n then escape and ask for somefood and clothing at the sheriffs house!
dosent the odd teacher teach a kid that one plus one is gay and not two,and one plus zero is one more,biologically!!
dosent the odd grizzly escape from the zoo and jump into the river in excitement that its back,but drown and die!
dosent the odd senator deliver his speech in front of the campaign for restricted pregnancy and once child per family campaign and find his zip open and his john thomas playing the sax?
dosent the odd pilgrim who has travelled for years in search of the eternal truth actually find out that it is hidden in a piece if lasagne?
dosent the odd hotelier wake up and find out that he actually set fire to his hotel??
dont see the point dont you?
but the clock still ticks!
me
talks like a person who smokes weed
extrovert
perverted
maverick
perpetually fucked up
psychopath
morally retarded
swears a lot
sarcastic to the core
emotions vary like the impulses from the scrotum of a molerat to its brain!
.
massnutsucka
you walk down the alley....in pursuit of the truth...the streets are dimly lit by halogen lamps...this old evangelical design...renaissance..the prisinte angels sword....no...it was a skunks dick...i dont see it...the light guides me further...suddenly....im in this village....where people strut around in corsets and bling....wierd...???....i dont find the meaning in all these...i have been bestowed with a purpose.....of findin the lost diadem of the princess of massnutsuka...does it have anything cooky?...the people are now brewing coke from goatmilk....i dont see the purpose....flying saucers controlled by psychic tellitubbies and nuclear neuropathic estellometers flied by roasted ducks...or are they ??..but why?
it was fire and mayhem everywhere....people were running out of theri houses...kids were crying....old blind went were crowding around the last issue of braille playboy.....the UFOs n the other estellomets were flying....
suddenly im in an indian jungle....the feeling was eeire...it was a clearing...a horde of elephants were drinking from the clearing...the village children were crowding around a cow....it was suffering....it had some disease...no...a snake was sucking its nuts....
i dont c where i am going....but i walk...my legs move.....
i noe i fucked up this post....
remain forever...!
it was fire and mayhem everywhere....people were running out of theri houses...kids were crying....old blind went were crowding around the last issue of braille playboy.....the UFOs n the other estellomets were flying....
suddenly im in an indian jungle....the feeling was eeire...it was a clearing...a horde of elephants were drinking from the clearing...the village children were crowding around a cow....it was suffering....it had some disease...no...a snake was sucking its nuts....
i dont c where i am going....but i walk...my legs move.....
i noe i fucked up this post....
remain forever...!
Thursday, January 31, 2008
a cover of coloured soda!
“Trichy”…..the conductor handed her two yellow tickets as she paid in coins. It was a special day for her and her son. His dad was in trichy and they were going to going to see him. It was last during the last pongal that they had gone and visited him. He was a busy man but he enjoyed it. The bus crawled through the countryside where miles and miles of cabbage and eggfruit fields could fill your field of vision for minutes. The lone scarecrow or the lone sprinkler was the only difference from that monotony. She could feel her son resting his head against her side. He was asleep. The slightest hint of breeze was enough for him to doze off.
Memories of their past flooded into her mind. How they ran together to the top of the Gounder Malai and shouted their voices and clapped in joy and wonder when they heard the echo, how they wrote their names in all the rubber trees in Senthil Annans field before they were kicked out for wasting sap, how they caught they small fish in the flooded channels and put them in small plastic bags and feed it with leaves n rice, how their parents discussed their marriage when they were still running around in skirts n shorts. But they had grown up. He found a job in a construction site and due to his habit of putting everything that he had for a cause, he rose. They were a content family until…
“Trichy Trichy…erangamma….Trichy..” she woke up from that slumber. It was more of a ruminating session of memories cherished till eternity. She woke up her son and they got down. Trichy was the same. Hope he would be the same too. They bought the cheap coloured sweets and some coloured soda. They took an auto to his place. The same old cloth merchants, the same flowers. She could see the expression on her sons face when he ate and drank. Her eyes filled with tears as it clouded her vision. Would it really?… they passed the characteristic Siva temple with its reservoir and host of buffalos. She joined her hands. She prayed for him. And for her son. They reached his place. They paid the auto driver who shot her looks. Either he or she was confused. They asked the security. Yes he was free now. They entered the place. It was a massive office. But it was very very old. There were cobwebs everywhere and the dim lighting proved to be scary. The people working there were so immersed in their work or were taking their time out. They reached the visitors room. It was kind of crowded. She wondered.
There were no chairs there. She could see an old lady with a rosary in her hand praying. Maybe her son was not well.
Then she saw him. Unshaven face and the unkempt hair. These were his characteristics. They stood quiet for some time. Then she broke the silence. But it was in the form of a small sob. He did not speak. She continued her crying for some time. Then her son removed the partially evacuated soda cover from his mouth and asked her why she was crying. She suddenly wiped her tears with the tip of her saree and gave him a small toy to play with. He took the toy and started fiddling with it.
“why…what is the reason for such a harsh decision? Cant they revoke it? Why dont they understand?
“meena…look here. This is not like the panchayati raj we have at home. This is the government. If they say, I obey, no questions.
“but.. cant we spend some money.. you know.. my uncle is the local committee member in the Ooty division..maybe we can use his help now.”
Just then their son stopped fiddling and climbed on her and started listening to the conversation…
“Ooty division.. Meenakutty…this is way bigger than that. If their ruling is that I have to be……… transferred….. then it will take place that way. And moreover the money u waste now can be used for Dharma’s education. He has to complete his primary schooling. And then he has to complete secondary school and go to the city and get a good job and be contended with life… like we were…no like we are….i will always be there with you… don’t worry…
they held hands for sometime as they thought about their lives.. a quick review…for what???
But they knew what the other was thinking…. They couldn’t look at each others face…
Just then her son came up to her and asked “ where is appa going amma?”
“ appa….. appa…..he is….going ….. to …. Mumbai…the place with big buildings and cars and trains…..his office has moved there…so he is going there raja…”
“when will he be back?”
“he will be back……he will be back…..”
and by saying that…without taking another look… she just took her son and went… her sobs were audible.. he just stood there and looked at the silhoutte going away… but she would always be there with him…he knew.. he slowly reclined to his space…
it was early morning in trichy…. The classic M S Subbhalakshmi song could be heard from the muruga temple… an old man was reading the morning paperover a cup of piping hot tea…
"the accused in the murder of police circle inspector anbumani has been hanged…" ...he was going somwhere farther than mumbai....
just then an ambulance came to a halt in front of them.. the driver and another person came out. They sat down and asked for tea
“why so early?? U people done get any sleep?
“ its not out fault. Today morning some rascal called up the police and told them that the body of a lady and a child were found on the tracks. Stupid people…wont let us live in peace..”
the back door of the ambulance was open. A small frail but bloody hand was seen hanging out. It had a small soda cover clutched tightly in its grasp….
Memories of their past flooded into her mind. How they ran together to the top of the Gounder Malai and shouted their voices and clapped in joy and wonder when they heard the echo, how they wrote their names in all the rubber trees in Senthil Annans field before they were kicked out for wasting sap, how they caught they small fish in the flooded channels and put them in small plastic bags and feed it with leaves n rice, how their parents discussed their marriage when they were still running around in skirts n shorts. But they had grown up. He found a job in a construction site and due to his habit of putting everything that he had for a cause, he rose. They were a content family until…
“Trichy Trichy…erangamma….Trichy..” she woke up from that slumber. It was more of a ruminating session of memories cherished till eternity. She woke up her son and they got down. Trichy was the same. Hope he would be the same too. They bought the cheap coloured sweets and some coloured soda. They took an auto to his place. The same old cloth merchants, the same flowers. She could see the expression on her sons face when he ate and drank. Her eyes filled with tears as it clouded her vision. Would it really?… they passed the characteristic Siva temple with its reservoir and host of buffalos. She joined her hands. She prayed for him. And for her son. They reached his place. They paid the auto driver who shot her looks. Either he or she was confused. They asked the security. Yes he was free now. They entered the place. It was a massive office. But it was very very old. There were cobwebs everywhere and the dim lighting proved to be scary. The people working there were so immersed in their work or were taking their time out. They reached the visitors room. It was kind of crowded. She wondered.
There were no chairs there. She could see an old lady with a rosary in her hand praying. Maybe her son was not well.
Then she saw him. Unshaven face and the unkempt hair. These were his characteristics. They stood quiet for some time. Then she broke the silence. But it was in the form of a small sob. He did not speak. She continued her crying for some time. Then her son removed the partially evacuated soda cover from his mouth and asked her why she was crying. She suddenly wiped her tears with the tip of her saree and gave him a small toy to play with. He took the toy and started fiddling with it.
“why…what is the reason for such a harsh decision? Cant they revoke it? Why dont they understand?
“meena…look here. This is not like the panchayati raj we have at home. This is the government. If they say, I obey, no questions.
“but.. cant we spend some money.. you know.. my uncle is the local committee member in the Ooty division..maybe we can use his help now.”
Just then their son stopped fiddling and climbed on her and started listening to the conversation…
“Ooty division.. Meenakutty…this is way bigger than that. If their ruling is that I have to be……… transferred….. then it will take place that way. And moreover the money u waste now can be used for Dharma’s education. He has to complete his primary schooling. And then he has to complete secondary school and go to the city and get a good job and be contended with life… like we were…no like we are….i will always be there with you… don’t worry…
they held hands for sometime as they thought about their lives.. a quick review…for what???
But they knew what the other was thinking…. They couldn’t look at each others face…
Just then her son came up to her and asked “ where is appa going amma?”
“ appa….. appa…..he is….going ….. to …. Mumbai…the place with big buildings and cars and trains…..his office has moved there…so he is going there raja…”
“when will he be back?”
“he will be back……he will be back…..”
and by saying that…without taking another look… she just took her son and went… her sobs were audible.. he just stood there and looked at the silhoutte going away… but she would always be there with him…he knew.. he slowly reclined to his space…
it was early morning in trichy…. The classic M S Subbhalakshmi song could be heard from the muruga temple… an old man was reading the morning paperover a cup of piping hot tea…
"the accused in the murder of police circle inspector anbumani has been hanged…" ...he was going somwhere farther than mumbai....
just then an ambulance came to a halt in front of them.. the driver and another person came out. They sat down and asked for tea
“why so early?? U people done get any sleep?
“ its not out fault. Today morning some rascal called up the police and told them that the body of a lady and a child were found on the tracks. Stupid people…wont let us live in peace..”
the back door of the ambulance was open. A small frail but bloody hand was seen hanging out. It had a small soda cover clutched tightly in its grasp….
Monday, January 28, 2008
the white pale gentleman!!!
the day was getting over....the sun was going down...the hookers were coming out....it was ludacris playin all over the town...burger n weed sellers were shwing their stuff??? stuff eh?
today was a fruitful day....he killed three deer....he didnt know for what....the act of killing the deer was instinctive....but he considered it was convenient instinct... rather perfected instinct
.... and coming back he knoced over another two.... and dunno how many he reduced to roadkill.... he had taken immense pleasure by seeing this....
he dnt believe in god...he was more interested in weed....hooking up...ovulating...to him...jesus christ was like de cloned version of nicole richie....michael jackson..and paris hilton...
after having his regular weed....fire martinis wid lichies...n taming his dragon .....he tucked in...
it was in the middle of the night....when nothing moves.....fucky...
he opened his eyes...... what the fuck was that??...he saw a guy sitting on the chair...looking outside...a guy...in wid a pale white face...wid a frail body...and thick eyebrows....
the guy must be horny!..
"hey duckbill.....what the fuck u doin in ma place?"
"hello...im a nightmare youre having..."
"yea....dude....just get the fuck outa ma place...youre either too drunk...or u had too much of de cheap viagra shit....now scram before u piss me off"
"are you napolean?'
"drunk chaps got parapsychic bullshit!"
"are you the guy who kills for the sake of it?"
"yea.... how does it remotely affect u?...were u engaged to any of the deer i had killed?? or is it sentimental bullshit u got after the deer got laid by you??"
"i am your nightmare remember??.... you are going to die..."
"fuck you....get outa ma shack you "
n he got up and took his double barrel shotgun....
he just fell down....no blood....but he was wrrigling....uncontrollably....nefarious intentions n actions all go down to the floor they say!!
the legend of the smoking wagon had come true...it said that after every 126 years the devil would walk the earth....he last came on AD 1479... it was bad.... but still.... life went on!
but...????????????????????
the devil killing a sinner????.... yea....mass murderer...weed smoker...dude that fucks anything that walks...has bad breath...
but that was the question!?!?!?!?
who came to that house??....
he was buried in a public ceremony...after all....bad breath nape was someone they had to discuss when they had nothing to do....
that night....a new gentleman checked into the local inn.... he looked wierd....he spoke even wierder....but his eyes gleamed the flame of purpose...
but....who was he???
deaths were increasing by the day....the so called sinners...the so called dickheads.....
people became more free.....
more happy...
there was happiness and prosperity and peace of mind and booze n weed everywhere...
it was the perfect city...
more and more people came from other parts...
difference of opinion!...
small small disjointments...
bigger difference of opinion...
ego...
fucked up...
fighting....
why the fuck did they come???
what the fuck did we do??
it was silent....the remenants of the place...the lone owl hooted....the man took his rucksack...looked at the town.... checked his nails..
he straightened his hair...n walked to the cedarn hills...
the small wooden board showed the year 1805....
he moved to freasher pastures...
today was a fruitful day....he killed three deer....he didnt know for what....the act of killing the deer was instinctive....but he considered it was convenient instinct... rather perfected instinct
.... and coming back he knoced over another two.... and dunno how many he reduced to roadkill.... he had taken immense pleasure by seeing this....
he dnt believe in god...he was more interested in weed....hooking up...ovulating...to him...jesus christ was like de cloned version of nicole richie....michael jackson..and paris hilton...
after having his regular weed....fire martinis wid lichies...n taming his dragon .....he tucked in...
it was in the middle of the night....when nothing moves.....fucky...
he opened his eyes...... what the fuck was that??...he saw a guy sitting on the chair...looking outside...a guy...in wid a pale white face...wid a frail body...and thick eyebrows....
the guy must be horny!..
"hey duckbill.....what the fuck u doin in ma place?"
"hello...im a nightmare youre having..."
"yea....dude....just get the fuck outa ma place...youre either too drunk...or u had too much of de cheap viagra shit....now scram before u piss me off"
"are you napolean?'
"drunk chaps got parapsychic bullshit!"
"are you the guy who kills for the sake of it?"
"yea.... how does it remotely affect u?...were u engaged to any of the deer i had killed?? or is it sentimental bullshit u got after the deer got laid by you??"
"i am your nightmare remember??.... you are going to die..."
"fuck you....get outa ma shack you "
n he got up and took his double barrel shotgun....
he just fell down....no blood....but he was wrrigling....uncontrollably....nefarious intentions n actions all go down to the floor they say!!
the legend of the smoking wagon had come true...it said that after every 126 years the devil would walk the earth....he last came on AD 1479... it was bad.... but still.... life went on!
but...????????????????????
the devil killing a sinner????.... yea....mass murderer...weed smoker...dude that fucks anything that walks...has bad breath...
but that was the question!?!?!?!?
who came to that house??....
he was buried in a public ceremony...after all....bad breath nape was someone they had to discuss when they had nothing to do....
that night....a new gentleman checked into the local inn.... he looked wierd....he spoke even wierder....but his eyes gleamed the flame of purpose...
but....who was he???
deaths were increasing by the day....the so called sinners...the so called dickheads.....
people became more free.....
more happy...
there was happiness and prosperity and peace of mind and booze n weed everywhere...
it was the perfect city...
more and more people came from other parts...
difference of opinion!...
small small disjointments...
bigger difference of opinion...
ego...
fucked up...
fighting....
why the fuck did they come???
what the fuck did we do??
it was silent....the remenants of the place...the lone owl hooted....the man took his rucksack...looked at the town.... checked his nails..
he straightened his hair...n walked to the cedarn hills...
the small wooden board showed the year 1805....
he moved to freasher pastures...
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Crows...
It was desolate….the lone wind from the fields tempted me to look towards the rice paddies where I feasted on the harmonic motion on the crops…I was accompanied by two crows.. who were busy feasting on a dead rat. The lone car proved to be satisfactory to me…at least I could treat myself to thinking about the occupants of the car and where they were headed…maybe I would meet them in the long road of life…intersecting ways…
It was my first day at college.. so I did not want to be late…so I arrived an hour early at the bus stop. Since the heat was unbearable I moved to the shade of a neem tree and sat down. Just then I saw in the turning a girl wearing a pink salwar with brown hair and iridescent eyes!…..iridescent? …Yea….i felt I could see the whole world in her eyes…I never knew such a girl lived in my locality…she must live in the Brahmin colony near the gomti river…no one really went there other than the inhabitants…they had a reclusive, heretic and a dogmatic lifestyle and their lives revolved around the local temple, mathematics, astrology and those oil dripping jalebis. She had a bag in her hand …good she was also going to college…I noticed that she would occasionally look at the paddies on both sides and would close her eyes…she loved the wind caressing her face…
She came to the stop and leaned on the post…she didn’t mind the crows…neither did they….
The sun had gone behind the clouds…so he went to the post as the bus would be here any minute…she didn’t mind his presence…she was feeling the wind slapping on her face as she gently opened and closed her eyes…he was ruminating…what should he do??
It was my first day at college.. so I did not want to be late…so I arrived an hour early at the bus stop. Since the heat was unbearable I moved to the shade of a neem tree and sat down. Just then I saw in the turning a girl wearing a pink salwar with brown hair and iridescent eyes!…..iridescent? …Yea….i felt I could see the whole world in her eyes…I never knew such a girl lived in my locality…she must live in the Brahmin colony near the gomti river…no one really went there other than the inhabitants…they had a reclusive, heretic and a dogmatic lifestyle and their lives revolved around the local temple, mathematics, astrology and those oil dripping jalebis. She had a bag in her hand …good she was also going to college…I noticed that she would occasionally look at the paddies on both sides and would close her eyes…she loved the wind caressing her face…
She came to the stop and leaned on the post…she didn’t mind the crows…neither did they….
The sun had gone behind the clouds…so he went to the post as the bus would be here any minute…she didn’t mind his presence…she was feeling the wind slapping on her face as she gently opened and closed her eyes…he was ruminating…what should he do??
he could hear melancholic music from the house near the stop….why???…did that have something to do with his condition now…
He went towards her….the smell of cuticura powder lingered…as if it was an aura…it was to him
“hey…I’m sundar…I have never seen you here?”
“I’m revathy…my father got a transfer to the local bank here…today is my first day at college here…I hope it will go well”
She spoke a lot…but I just loved the way her head swayed as she talked…and the way she looked into the miles and miles of paddies…there was this felling..of butterflies in the stomach… But this was more…it was as if they were tickling your pancreas…a funny one…
“today is my first day at college too….it is good that I found a new friend before going to college..”
“You have a very different voice…not that its different..there’s something more to it…”
“so can we sit together in class??….”
“I don’t know…you know I’m in the block for the visually challenged…I’m blind…so ill need more help..”
it was as though a dart had punctured his heart…those iridescent eyes….he looked into those eyes….he did not see the bus going by…he did not hear her telling him and signaling that she heard a bus…
the crows were now fighting for the remnants of the rat…but she was not disturbed by the sound…
“that sound… crows aren’t they?… they must be fighting over something…I just wish I could see them…such a lovely sound..
she takes interest in the trifles of life….crows….momentarily forgetting that she was blind…. Or was it convenience?
“and so is your sound..”
I was looking at her face… she had a small smile on her face which accentuated her eyes…. I saw a faint glow in them…missing the bus was worth it…I thought..It was then that I noticed that the melancholic song had changed to the latest pokkiri song....
The rat was over….still the crows stayed…
He went towards her….the smell of cuticura powder lingered…as if it was an aura…it was to him
“hey…I’m sundar…I have never seen you here?”
“I’m revathy…my father got a transfer to the local bank here…today is my first day at college here…I hope it will go well”
She spoke a lot…but I just loved the way her head swayed as she talked…and the way she looked into the miles and miles of paddies…there was this felling..of butterflies in the stomach… But this was more…it was as if they were tickling your pancreas…a funny one…
“today is my first day at college too….it is good that I found a new friend before going to college..”
“You have a very different voice…not that its different..there’s something more to it…”
“so can we sit together in class??….”
“I don’t know…you know I’m in the block for the visually challenged…I’m blind…so ill need more help..”
it was as though a dart had punctured his heart…those iridescent eyes….he looked into those eyes….he did not see the bus going by…he did not hear her telling him and signaling that she heard a bus…
the crows were now fighting for the remnants of the rat…but she was not disturbed by the sound…
“that sound… crows aren’t they?… they must be fighting over something…I just wish I could see them…such a lovely sound..
she takes interest in the trifles of life….crows….momentarily forgetting that she was blind…. Or was it convenience?
“and so is your sound..”
I was looking at her face… she had a small smile on her face which accentuated her eyes…. I saw a faint glow in them…missing the bus was worth it…I thought..It was then that I noticed that the melancholic song had changed to the latest pokkiri song....
The rat was over….still the crows stayed…
Saturday, January 26, 2008
hello......
the ringing of the school bell signalled the end of my trip to krakozhia....my dreamworld...my preconceived notions which i consistently convince myself by lying to myself...now it was back to the chemistry textbooks.....
i wasnt going to let that happen..my pals n me were going to bunk...and just go to the football ground and just chill on the grass there....the butterflies and the squirrels there.....figment of my imagination....survival in a world made of cement and mortar is difficult...but we couldnt find any constructive work to do...nothing to kill time too....
then came the revelation...call some random number and talk to the person...be it crap...we wanted to kill time....so me and my pals randomly selected a number and just dialled....
a grumpy voice....had a lot of adrenalin in it...picked up the phone..
"hello"
"is it Derek?"
"sorry wrong number".....the dial tone was something we expected....
we called again....we believed in god...n in new beginnings...
"hello"
"we know its derek....now speak u sonabitch"
"hey...kids...i think you got the wrong number"
we heard the dial tone again...redundancy????
we continued ...for a third time...this time it was over some root beer ...we were starting to enjoy this...
"for gods sake...who the fuck do you want this time??? clint eastwood??"
"hey derek...cmon dude....we know its you....so hws your mother doing?"
"my mother.....well.....shes doing just fine....she just dold her farmhouse in surrey....n shes relocating to LA"
now that was something we never ever expected.....
"what about your wife and kids?"
"they died in a car crash....happened on the freeway...it was in the papers....dont you read papers kid? or are you like all the other kids.....hooking up at 11....drinking at 13....getting fucked at 15...and washing cars at 17..."
was i?......atleast i knew that wouldnt happen.....
"no...no...i....i....kinda saw it... ....................... ....."
"its ok son.....so what are you doing???"
"im in the springville high school....9th grade.."
"what about your mom and dad?"
"my mom...shes a physical trainer...and my dad...he works with the federal unit for control of pests..."
"now kid.....see....your mom and dad....they kinda live for you right???? just done dissapoint them...i sense this difference in your voice...thats why..."
"ok...hey i have to go now...im actually bunking classes..."
i didn't wait for the reply....i just hung up...
"what the fuck was you spitting over the phone....rach just came....you could have spoken to her.....ass"
"i dont know...the old bugger was talking trash"
we went to the class......and it was back to the boring science class tought by a horny and hairy middle aged guy....it was so fucked up!
i reached home....dumped my bag near the shoerack....the place where it has always been...just went up....i felt a lot better.....someone who actually cared for me....mom and dad just see me once a week....pest control....bullshit...both of them were in Greece.... they own a very large fleet..
i was feeling better.....i looked forward to going to school...had this feeling....cathartic....how my mom took me on long walks....going fishing...i did my homework for the first time....cleaned my room....made my bed...didnt put the player on max volume....lights out at 10...i felt good...
the calls i made to him became more regular....he talked about everything...his childhood...his farmhouse....the ducks there....his school..the math teacher there....about mandy...their first date...marraige....and i spoke to him about ME....he was my confidant...my .... long lost part of a crude soul....
i became more and more polished....my image of the punk dude who doesn't brush his teeth changed to Damian Presley....class monitor....most well behaved kid in school....
he wished me...and i was proud....we became very very close now...my whole life was revolving around him...once when i was scared...he was on the phone for more than an hour...talking to me...singing me songs....or listening to me...
who was he?????????.....
one day.....after the English class...where i was selected as school captain...i rung him....no one picked up the phone for a long time....i thought he was asleep....it was one thirty...the old man must have had more martinis than he could take....and must be on the couch snoring away...
he called again at four...but there was no answer...now he was scared....why didn't he pick up the phone?? what was wrong....images weaved in his mind and he was trying to wipe them away with the newly instilled hope and expectations he derived from a can of beer...
he tried again 8 times...still no one picked up the phone....he consoled himself by saying that the old man had gone for a vacation....he just felt fucked...so he must have gone...hell be back!
his sleep was disturbed...
in the morning...he tried to forget this and got ready for school....he went down and helped himself to bacon and eggs...he browsed through the paper....
a middle aged man...thought to be in his forties...found dead in his apartment...blah blah....
that line resonated in his disturbed mind....was it him???? he took his bag and drove down....he again tried the number.....
wait...someone picked up the phone...it was a lady with a British accent
"hello"
"hello...who is it?"
"who the fuck are you?? calling my house and asking me who i am?"
_____________________________________
he drove down the freeway....the sun was wrestling with the clouds as it peeped from the Rockies....his school captain badge was shining proudly on his blazer....
people on the road were amazed to find a school kid driving an Alfa romeo....talking to himself....
this was no krakozhia....n no imaginary world.....
he was smiling!
i wasnt going to let that happen..my pals n me were going to bunk...and just go to the football ground and just chill on the grass there....the butterflies and the squirrels there.....figment of my imagination....survival in a world made of cement and mortar is difficult...but we couldnt find any constructive work to do...nothing to kill time too....
then came the revelation...call some random number and talk to the person...be it crap...we wanted to kill time....so me and my pals randomly selected a number and just dialled....
a grumpy voice....had a lot of adrenalin in it...picked up the phone..
"hello"
"is it Derek?"
"sorry wrong number".....the dial tone was something we expected....
we called again....we believed in god...n in new beginnings...
"hello"
"we know its derek....now speak u sonabitch"
"hey...kids...i think you got the wrong number"
we heard the dial tone again...redundancy????
we continued ...for a third time...this time it was over some root beer ...we were starting to enjoy this...
"for gods sake...who the fuck do you want this time??? clint eastwood??"
"hey derek...cmon dude....we know its you....so hws your mother doing?"
"my mother.....well.....shes doing just fine....she just dold her farmhouse in surrey....n shes relocating to LA"
now that was something we never ever expected.....
"what about your wife and kids?"
"they died in a car crash....happened on the freeway...it was in the papers....dont you read papers kid? or are you like all the other kids.....hooking up at 11....drinking at 13....getting fucked at 15...and washing cars at 17..."
was i?......atleast i knew that wouldnt happen.....
"no...no...i....i....kinda saw it... ....................... ....."
"its ok son.....so what are you doing???"
"im in the springville high school....9th grade.."
"what about your mom and dad?"
"my mom...shes a physical trainer...and my dad...he works with the federal unit for control of pests..."
"now kid.....see....your mom and dad....they kinda live for you right???? just done dissapoint them...i sense this difference in your voice...thats why..."
"ok...hey i have to go now...im actually bunking classes..."
i didn't wait for the reply....i just hung up...
"what the fuck was you spitting over the phone....rach just came....you could have spoken to her.....ass"
"i dont know...the old bugger was talking trash"
we went to the class......and it was back to the boring science class tought by a horny and hairy middle aged guy....it was so fucked up!
i reached home....dumped my bag near the shoerack....the place where it has always been...just went up....i felt a lot better.....someone who actually cared for me....mom and dad just see me once a week....pest control....bullshit...both of them were in Greece.... they own a very large fleet..
i was feeling better.....i looked forward to going to school...had this feeling....cathartic....how my mom took me on long walks....going fishing...i did my homework for the first time....cleaned my room....made my bed...didnt put the player on max volume....lights out at 10...i felt good...
the calls i made to him became more regular....he talked about everything...his childhood...his farmhouse....the ducks there....his school..the math teacher there....about mandy...their first date...marraige....and i spoke to him about ME....he was my confidant...my .... long lost part of a crude soul....
i became more and more polished....my image of the punk dude who doesn't brush his teeth changed to Damian Presley....class monitor....most well behaved kid in school....
he wished me...and i was proud....we became very very close now...my whole life was revolving around him...once when i was scared...he was on the phone for more than an hour...talking to me...singing me songs....or listening to me...
who was he?????????.....
one day.....after the English class...where i was selected as school captain...i rung him....no one picked up the phone for a long time....i thought he was asleep....it was one thirty...the old man must have had more martinis than he could take....and must be on the couch snoring away...
he called again at four...but there was no answer...now he was scared....why didn't he pick up the phone?? what was wrong....images weaved in his mind and he was trying to wipe them away with the newly instilled hope and expectations he derived from a can of beer...
he tried again 8 times...still no one picked up the phone....he consoled himself by saying that the old man had gone for a vacation....he just felt fucked...so he must have gone...hell be back!
his sleep was disturbed...
in the morning...he tried to forget this and got ready for school....he went down and helped himself to bacon and eggs...he browsed through the paper....
a middle aged man...thought to be in his forties...found dead in his apartment...blah blah....
that line resonated in his disturbed mind....was it him???? he took his bag and drove down....he again tried the number.....
wait...someone picked up the phone...it was a lady with a British accent
"hello"
"hello...who is it?"
"who the fuck are you?? calling my house and asking me who i am?"
_____________________________________
he drove down the freeway....the sun was wrestling with the clouds as it peeped from the Rockies....his school captain badge was shining proudly on his blazer....
people on the road were amazed to find a school kid driving an Alfa romeo....talking to himself....
this was no krakozhia....n no imaginary world.....
he was smiling!
Monday, December 24, 2007
Naked souls
AD 2600
Wes woke up from his bed...rather the bed dissolved as the suns rays touched its surface...photosensitive bed..recognizes light of certain wavelength..he got up..and went straight for the bathroom..yesterday was a hard day at work..and all those dry martinis...
he sat on the oval office...n presses the res button near it..a holographic image of thedays news screened on the wall.."mining on the moon raises concerns.." "porn movies of Paris Hilton 6Th on a wheelchair raises concerns"" the Arctic desert is declared as the 7th great desert of the world"..."Microsoft gives away free notebooks when you buy their products"
then the toilet seat started speaking." sir...your LDL cholesterol level is 210...your Glucose level is normal...and all the martinis yesterday has disturbed your enzyme functionality...n by the way sir..you stink....gosh!!..
he..sweared real hard..and jumped on the seat.
the seat dissolved into nothingness...n he was admidst all the ruminated n processed martinis n cheese..the pain!
he dressed up and went straight for the fireplace and then walked into his office room a few light years away..his holographic PA had some messages.."the shipping of the cheese pizzas from Jupiter will be delayed due to a meteor shower on route 31"" Manchester united has won its 7Th consecutive league title by thrashing Liverpool 5 1"" Sam here....mom just suffered from a massive coronary damage...all her pericardium was damaged...."
"Sam..its me...jeff...sup Jeff??....what happened to mom??...o like i told you..she suffered a cardiac arrest...didn't you take her to hospital??...no..bess told me not to...what does a fucking computer know? why the fuck didn't you take her?....well...bess calculated the estimated time left for her to die...n she told me it wasn't worth the effort fuel or the energy.....u listen to some tin piece regarding your moms health n her life??? don't you have something called conscience..emotions?..or is that also with your computer...next time you'll say your computer is you sons father..." he slammed the phone down...his day at work was pathetic...all the time images of his mother suffering..the excruciating pain...memories of his brother etched in time...was effaced by time and truth..he prayed for her mothers soul...he thought of the twinkle in her eye....
in the evening he visited her burial site...she was buried amidst all the other naked souls....wandering...hope?...he put some flowers near the coffin...n he talked to his mother...about his childhood....the cakes they baked together...his first crush...how he got his first 100 dollar bill....of life...of things fruagal..still.....tears were dripping down....memories still fresh...another naked soul.....in this world of pain...
AD 2689
it was a busy morning and he couldn't use his usual means of transport. So he had to hit the streets in his Audi. The usual sights beckoned him. The dude selling bling, pizza man, etc.etc...when he reached the turning to mount avenue he suddenly felt a searing pain rip through his chest area. he couldn't drive anymore. He pulled over and just fell off the car . It was a busy street,but no one bothered. He rolled around and screamed in pain.His cries exemplified what excruciating pain was. Memories of his childhood and his mother flashed in his head....he was going to leave...he was...it was all over...his life...he closed his eyes to the world!
it was a crowded avenue..owing to the Monday morning rush..and near the alley...there was a host of vultures...they were busy tearing apart his body..he had a fruitful life..money..his happiness....a good wife...but..still....it was carrion after death....he had that twinkle in his eye
Wes woke up from his bed...rather the bed dissolved as the suns rays touched its surface...photosensitive bed..recognizes light of certain wavelength..he got up..and went straight for the bathroom..yesterday was a hard day at work..and all those dry martinis...
he sat on the oval office...n presses the res button near it..a holographic image of thedays news screened on the wall.."mining on the moon raises concerns.." "porn movies of Paris Hilton 6Th on a wheelchair raises concerns"" the Arctic desert is declared as the 7th great desert of the world"..."Microsoft gives away free notebooks when you buy their products"
then the toilet seat started speaking." sir...your LDL cholesterol level is 210...your Glucose level is normal...and all the martinis yesterday has disturbed your enzyme functionality...n by the way sir..you stink....gosh!!..
he..sweared real hard..and jumped on the seat.
the seat dissolved into nothingness...n he was admidst all the ruminated n processed martinis n cheese..the pain!
he dressed up and went straight for the fireplace and then walked into his office room a few light years away..his holographic PA had some messages.."the shipping of the cheese pizzas from Jupiter will be delayed due to a meteor shower on route 31"" Manchester united has won its 7Th consecutive league title by thrashing Liverpool 5 1"" Sam here....mom just suffered from a massive coronary damage...all her pericardium was damaged...."
"Sam..its me...jeff...sup Jeff??....what happened to mom??...o like i told you..she suffered a cardiac arrest...didn't you take her to hospital??...no..bess told me not to...what does a fucking computer know? why the fuck didn't you take her?....well...bess calculated the estimated time left for her to die...n she told me it wasn't worth the effort fuel or the energy.....u listen to some tin piece regarding your moms health n her life??? don't you have something called conscience..emotions?..or is that also with your computer...next time you'll say your computer is you sons father..." he slammed the phone down...his day at work was pathetic...all the time images of his mother suffering..the excruciating pain...memories of his brother etched in time...was effaced by time and truth..he prayed for her mothers soul...he thought of the twinkle in her eye....
in the evening he visited her burial site...she was buried amidst all the other naked souls....wandering...hope?...he put some flowers near the coffin...n he talked to his mother...about his childhood....the cakes they baked together...his first crush...how he got his first 100 dollar bill....of life...of things fruagal..still.....tears were dripping down....memories still fresh...another naked soul.....in this world of pain...
AD 2689
it was a busy morning and he couldn't use his usual means of transport. So he had to hit the streets in his Audi. The usual sights beckoned him. The dude selling bling, pizza man, etc.etc...when he reached the turning to mount avenue he suddenly felt a searing pain rip through his chest area. he couldn't drive anymore. He pulled over and just fell off the car . It was a busy street,but no one bothered. He rolled around and screamed in pain.His cries exemplified what excruciating pain was. Memories of his childhood and his mother flashed in his head....he was going to leave...he was...it was all over...his life...he closed his eyes to the world!
it was a crowded avenue..owing to the Monday morning rush..and near the alley...there was a host of vultures...they were busy tearing apart his body..he had a fruitful life..money..his happiness....a good wife...but..still....it was carrion after death....he had that twinkle in his eye
Saturday, December 1, 2007
the shack by the moor
The white curtain thickened,
The cold breath whistled,
Trudging through the nothingness,
To the shack near the moor
heavily packed
reptilian eyes gleaming
with the flame of purpose
the lone owl hooted
crumbling walls
the broken panes
shrieking windows
the withered mistletoe
an epitome...
the light flickered
she was sitting near her mother
her fingers caressing her forehead
eighty three Christmas's
mistletoe, presents
cathartic, poignant?
romantic, emotions.
clouded psyche?
he entered
inconspicuously,
and seated himself,
eyes gleaming with purpose.
she was muttering
of those days,
when the sun smiled down,
her first Christmas present...
The cold breath whistled,
Trudging through the nothingness,
To the shack near the moor
heavily packed
reptilian eyes gleaming
with the flame of purpose
the lone owl hooted
crumbling walls
the broken panes
shrieking windows
the withered mistletoe
an epitome...
the light flickered
she was sitting near her mother
her fingers caressing her forehead
eighty three Christmas's
mistletoe, presents
cathartic, poignant?
romantic, emotions.
clouded psyche?
he entered
inconspicuously,
and seated himself,
eyes gleaming with purpose.
she was muttering
of those days,
when the sun smiled down,
her first Christmas present...
the nutcracker looked metaphorical
or did it??
or did it??
The mirror shone,
a beautiful lady looked back
her sweetheart
those eyes
her kids, their trifles,
her life..the roses
given to her by Damien, the
picture bye Emma..
the tragedy, those
sleepless nights,
she used to gaze at the sky
one more star in that labyrinth
her children
she knows not where they are
but the rose and the picture
still smiled down from the wall.
reminiscence???
her ran his fingers
on his scarred face
he got up
it became chilly
no one noticed the door
opening and closing
the white curtain was thicker
he dissolved into oblivion
her fingers did not twitch any more
her mouth was pursed
eyes sparkled in the darkness
stillness answering the .....
the light did not flicker
the owl did not hoot
as he slowly trudged away
from the shack by the moor
Monday, November 12, 2007
Overcast day…
The speakers resonated..... He walked up to the stage and received it.....ir did he?? This was an extra collection to his booty. Booty of prizes earned through his sweat, fate and destiny, which were carved out by his will power…and with the help of her…who was she? She had been the driving force behind everything. Her face stood out in that crowd…it was radiating with joy…his eyes had a certain twinkle…… She said.. it was.. she had conquered something…the moon was smiling down..
It was an overcast day…or was it?? She was lying on her cot…and he was near her head…gently caressing her forehead and she was clutching his palm. The light gently filtered through the tinted glass…or was it all an illusion…she was twisting and turning around in the bed…in pain…she was felling weaker…. but he was still near her forehead…caressing her forehead without any emotion…pictures flashed across his desolate mind…she had taught him how to write…she had taught him how to live…how to create your own destiny… how to turn a deaf ear towards people who thought otherwise…he was a misfit in this humane and cultured society…or was he?? The blow that he got from his classmates still shows across his forehead…but he fought…n he succeeded. He lived…
It was pouring heavily…the house was a beehive of activity…relatives discussing the inexplicable questions of how and what….he was still caressing her forehead…but the grip on the palm had loosened…but he wasn’t thinking of that…she still lived. He couldn’t accept the fact that she …. He was still caressing her forehead… “Relatives” asked him to move so that they could complete the cycle…he didn’t budge. He was living... They pounced on the opportunity. He was a misfit… the sounds of the siren pierced the crispness…he was taken to the asylum…his face had the same desolate look...it was an overcast day…the moon did not smile down..
Chaos reigned throughout the place…doctors and people were everywhere….a patient had taken his own “life”….the scene was cathartic…there were splashes of red all over the walls…he was lying on the floor…the trophy gleamed in the moonlight…but he was still clutching the trophy…as if it were alive…it breathed…a breath of wind blew the hair away from his eyes…it still had that certain twinkle…it was a no moon day…but still the moon smiled down…
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Life N after!!
How sweet the moonlight sleeps upon this bank
Here will we sit and let the sound of music creep in our ears;
And we shall rise up, leaving our cold bodies,
On this earth scarred by jealousy and lust.
And their pearl white bodies skimmed the Night air,
whispering about eternal love.
Let time and flesh fly back and worlds reborn
As she sat on the moonlit marble floor.
Eyes resting on the winding dusty road.
Pictures of him flashing across her mind.........
He a man with a heart of gold, sinews
Like timber and eyes radiating the
Flames of immortal love
They were one body and soul.
But what separates them? What separates
Eternal love? Not walls of time, Not
Material pleasures; but the cruel touch of fate.
He after a long journey; separated from His soul;
by oceans of sand and gravel.
He traversed deserts and climbed mountains
To reach her; the woman he loved;
But how cruel, can the touch of fate be?
The wrath of Jupiter dawned on him
Reducing him to mere dust and ash
Satiating the wrath of the Gods.
For she felt in her heart the strangeness
The stillness answering her cry
And it tolls on her eyes
Tears exuding the pain of loss
She felt her existence questioned.
Her existence questioned
By the mere loss of her soul
To satiate the wrath of the Gods.
She rose up from the floor
And glided towards the street
And exposed her bosom to
The thundering wrath of Jupiter...
She felt it surge through her body
Piercing her heart and her soul
And she closed her eyes to her world
Freeing her body and her soul.
And she rose up from her body
Free in another world of solace
And they skimmed through the night air
Whispering about immortal love....
Monday, October 15, 2007
DyslExics Inc©
After u hear the resonance of the bell at half past nine.....if u have it in you to ascend the flight of stairs n get into the second room on the first floor.......then u have reached the place inhabitited by a group of people who are...........mmm.........well.........its inexplicable.......this is class 11A....2007!!
there is a perfect blend of guys from all spheres of human thought here....if u order elephant thigh sandwich....u may not find it because we may be out of ketchup....but never the elephant thigh....
the class is divided into zones........u have the backbenches which is a hub of the class and the place where u can hear loud retorts owin to discussions from the hottest girl in tution to mechanics to harry potter to manchester united to bunkin class n to all other topics you can think of.The extreme right side is inhabitied by the a group of people who fancy themselves to be a lot and in the end they somehow become that.this group is what u typically call the classy hooligans!!dreams r big in this place...of how to woo the hot girl..of how to win de football match in de afternoon.of how to cut de next chemistry class..of how to bunk the next tution......studies come relatively down the order.the gropu includes....siddharth...seby...nikhil....dennis....abin(hes a kozhi.......involvement)....arjun...sajad.....rohin....bala...n AJEESH AKA ANOOP
horde of hooligans eh???
well each person is distinct.....and there are some commmon and some distinct characters
all these people think that studies are tertiary in their life....they want to enjoy life....and they want TO LIVE!
then there are the distinct characters......well .primarily...we have the guy who shows INVOLVEMENT in all spheres .........the cute chubby n de black guy! who has a crush on a girl for the past dunno how many years.....who played football with a torn pair of trousers showing his green underwear(it was mossy!! thts y it was green)....the guy who sings like a bitch in a tub.....the guy who swings down from broken helicopters with the dhoom theme somg.....the guy who is one of the closest of my friends...........SEBY!! hes a rocker!!!
then we have nikhil!! the complacent guy who walks into the class with his shirt unbuttoned and the charactersitic dirty t shirt underneath.........hes a gifted guy! He can transform a borin dull period into a hilarious and pieces of time to remeber and cherish!! HES THAT FUNNY!!!! he dreams big of getting into IIT.....let dreams take him far......they guy who immortalized brother jacob......the guy who tripped and fell on top of the football[picturize it]...after running behind it....nammue swantham nakki!! he wats from everyone elses plate excpet his.....which he eats later secretly.......the guy who changed the defintion of english language.........ma brother........rock on!!
the we have de hot guy of our gang..........dennis.........the guy who sings like bryan adams......the guy who has the hots for emma watson and a certain other character....who he is very protectiv of for no reason!!....the guy who plays soccer real well.....who is our vice principals favourite student...the guy without whom classes would have been very different.....nammude swantham achayan!! the guy who made"enand stand up"..........nammude bullet!!!!!!!
pinne kichu!! avan oru kozhiyan!! he fancies things which areround and fluffy and in the paired condition...........nammude star football player....who has a crush on all big ladies he sees.....
the guy who said pardon me madam!! pardon me!!! ......he was kinda cool last year.........ippam buji ayipoyi.........
then we have arjun AKA almaram..aka starjun..the guy who is a multiple datter.....he dates practically anything! nammude gangile star cricketer.....one of the biggest alambs ive evr seen.....one minute he sees a girl........the next day shes arjuns girlfriend!!.....he had got these big biceps.....n so hes an armwrestling star!hell do nethin for his friends{u noe broda}...........n hes a big help whenever u want...
then we have sajad .....moulavi.....china........whteva.etc....mr loyola..........no1 vaaaaaaaaali.....vayinokki!!! hell sleep in class inconspicously thus escapint he four foot wrath.........hes a cool guy....sings a lot annoys a lot more......who fancies de same fictitious character that bullet worships.......goes after luminiscent girls.........another vaali.........moulu mama...
pinne moses...............well........kunnappi;....................no worrds for him........he is all about HAVING FUN! he is an experienced person in the field of biology and applied zoology and ornithology....he noes everything..........n he does everything he preaches too..........he changed his school from cns to loyola for good......he was destined to rock skm!!!! he was the PEROSN WHO SYMBOLIZED KUNNA!! with his systematic curled finger sign!! which is a rage in our class.....and it cost me an award in the yf........i have no words to describe him.........our own kunnappi!!
pinne contractor........bala......hes kinda big for his age.....n he has a lot of conceitedeness up his tummy!! but hes a very fun loving guy.....n he draws real well.......pakshe bhayankara chori!!!!!
den we have the textbook definition for multigened person who is the personification of ugliness and stench n yellow calcium all into one!! that is anoop!!! he has a lot of names/.....ajeesh.matheesh........satheesh.....thiri......poleesh...........god noe how many!!!! n de speciality is dat he has an ancestor each n everywhere in this world!! his characteristic pen whirling .......ippam kittum!! and after that the shouting out the wrong answer is synonymous with his intelligence!! pakshe hes a buji!!! MATHIIT.......poleesh........who thnks all chics are lookin at his face......rather his ass/.......the guy wholl marry a panda if hell get dowry from it.even if its regurgitated bamboo sticks........the man!!!!........count on poleesh.........ure dads!!!!
......................continued when time permits me to yack on!!
Sunday, October 14, 2007
PiSs oFF Frm Ma MInd
im dyin.......my heart is feelin weak.....im tired......i was a man who has absorbed all the sensual pleasures in life.....but i died.... i feel like i was risin up from my body......but wait.....i aint goin 2 heaven.....noooooo.....im goin 2 hell..........im goin 2 dance with the devil.,.....i feel im goin down......risin deeper down to the core of the earth....till i reached solid earth...rather it was liquid.....and the environment was rather placid....but 2 me it was fucky....it was a vast barren expanse of red......red eveywhere....n lava.....all this.....and at the horizon i coul see a towering gate.....i start to walk.....i could hear cries of agony...of pain.....og misery....yet i elt i had 2 go on.....i had nowhere to go....n i go......i reached the gate....n i c it guarded by an old ugly thing with all these horns n smelly feet( it smelt of rotten Garlic)....n the worst part is tht he was waring a YELLOW THONG...of all the thongs....n it was covered with moss and lichen.....ne way....he let me in with a bow.....i was amused.....but l8r came to anither conclusion....HE WAS GAY......neway i enter into another world....it was filled with dead and half dead and rotting people....liches....banshees....n ghouls....n necromancers.....n PORCUPINES WITH SIXTEEN BALLS.....???i move on ......i see a horde of chics.....with all these primitive matin calls....n all....i feel attracted.....she howls....she was a werewolf.......i move on.....this place was filled with all these really evil people.......i mean real evil/..... there was this guy .....who went mental...n turned into a serial killer ....n killed n roasted all the alley cats.......dumb eh???but evil is dumb....n there was this gurl who killed and cut off her boyfriends vitals......just 4 his insurance....EVIL EH???i move on.....ignorin th pleasures around me.......
my dream of WALTZING WITH THE DEVIL....i enetred his room......fear laid its cold hands on me......the room was so fuckin hot tht the hair on my body burnt.......there was this desk in front of me.......where the devil had his back turned against me..........it was so scary.......he was more than 8 feet tall.....red in color.....with all these horns over his body.....n.......these big burnin horns on his head.....he was really on fire...n his long nad horny tail lashing out into the nothingness.......i felt my pants gettin wet........the thonged devil said somethin 2 the devil.....n he turned aroun to face me......i got a fuckin cardiac arrestit was scray......it was...his head was likea snake.....and his pointed and forked tongue was lashin out agaist me......i was goona collapse....suddenly he spoke.....n everyone was quiet" u wanna dance with me......eh??u filthy streetrat...well htink again......n he opened his mouth.....n he started to pee on the floor.....n he diid this dumb dance.......i was releived...my fate was in his hands.....i was searchin 4 my life.....my dreams.....and hye just spoke these words of wisdon" barf out asshole....u r gonna rule this world....so live again.... and pary until u die"funny eh??? how life can change???but to me its pure unadulterated magic!!!!!shows over ppl....now get u filthy asses outa my mind......well ths me...!! basically its called this because of the nothingness that clouds the mind when u visualize vagueness spittin venom right into your eyes.....
my dream of WALTZING WITH THE DEVIL....i enetred his room......fear laid its cold hands on me......the room was so fuckin hot tht the hair on my body burnt.......there was this desk in front of me.......where the devil had his back turned against me..........it was so scary.......he was more than 8 feet tall.....red in color.....with all these horns over his body.....n.......these big burnin horns on his head.....he was really on fire...n his long nad horny tail lashing out into the nothingness.......i felt my pants gettin wet........the thonged devil said somethin 2 the devil.....n he turned aroun to face me......i got a fuckin cardiac arrestit was scray......it was...his head was likea snake.....and his pointed and forked tongue was lashin out agaist me......i was goona collapse....suddenly he spoke.....n everyone was quiet" u wanna dance with me......eh??u filthy streetrat...well htink again......n he opened his mouth.....n he started to pee on the floor.....n he diid this dumb dance.......i was releived...my fate was in his hands.....i was searchin 4 my life.....my dreams.....and hye just spoke these words of wisdon" barf out asshole....u r gonna rule this world....so live again.... and pary until u die"funny eh??? how life can change???but to me its pure unadulterated magic!!!!!shows over ppl....now get u filthy asses outa my mind......well ths me...!! basically its called this because of the nothingness that clouds the mind when u visualize vagueness spittin venom right into your eyes.....
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